Enabling parents give into their spoiled 15-year-old daughter's every wish, scold 16-year-old daughter for not doing the same: 'I told my parents I don't love my sister'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 19, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Favoritism is a sad but common part of many family dynamics. Being the child who their parents didn't favor can lead to a lifetime of striving to please people and feeling like they'll never be good enough. There's enough competition at school and work that there's no need for it in families. Competing for the basic feeling of being loved can negatively affect the competitors, yet some parents facilitate it. There are so many reasons a parent could favor one kid over another, and almost none of them are anything the child can control. Sometimes, parents wanted a different gender for their baby or didn't like the number of kids they had. Maybe they're judgemental about a child's appearance or achievements outside of the family and prop up the child they see as superior in those categories. The 15-year-old in this story was favored because of the medical conditions she had as a young child, and it's ruining her relationship with just about everybody. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10430542848
    via kevin laminto

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my parents I don't love my sister?
    via u/Western-Heart196
  • 03
    I (16f) have a younger sister (15f) who's spoiled by our parents because she was born prematurely and almost didn't make it. She was way too early and spent a lot of the first few years of her life in hospital (the first year) and then in and out of hospital until she was like 6 or 7. Our gave her everything she wanted and went all out for Christmas, birthdays and any little thing they could. They also let her call the shots frequently because she didn't get to do that when it came to her health
    via u/Western-Heart196
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    It alienated us from extended family because for a while they found it cute to have this little spoiled princess. She was tiny and sickly looking and people felt bad. But then she got healthy and it was less cute to have someone walk into your house and demand you feed them a certain food or demand you stop your kids doing something because she wanted to do it. Our grandparents used to babysit and they stopped because she was so r de to them and she thought she could tell them what to do. If the
    via u/Western-Heart196
  • 05
    she was pred because she was meant to choose what we ate, where we ate and what we did if we were together. She also lost any friends she had because of her attitude. And after being invited to a few birthday parties when she was 8, she was the only kid excluded from others because she would push herself in to cut the cake, or she'd kick people out of the bounce house or she'd open the birthday kids gifts. People disliked her and my parents so much they had their kids hand out invites to everyon
    via u/Western-Heart196
  • 06
    She wants us to be close and she wants to spend time with me. When I have plans or don't want to she goes to our parents. They created a monster and they act like everybody needs to do what my sister wants. We share a bedroom because she wanted to even though we have three spare rooms in our house. I'm forced to hang out with her at least 3 times a week and more when she really gets clingy. But she only does what she wants to do. And I have tried talking to her but she doesn't listen when I say
    via u/Western-Heart196
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    My parents realize now that I'm not being the big sister to her that they want and they tried talking to me about it. They said she's my sister and I love her and I need to be doing better. But I corrected them and said I don't love her. It's true too. Like maybe I still should but I don't. I wish she wasn't my sister. And I'm counting down the days to get away from her and our parents. They talked to me while my sister was home so when I said I didn't love her they really got mad at me for it.
    via u/Western-Heart196
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    adobeacrobatreader NTA. She is extremely needy and controlling. Two things that make people run the other way. Your parents need to wake up, work on the child with the problem, and not expect you to adjust because of it.
    via u/adobeacrobatreader
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    AnonimNina Usually, as a rule, it is very difficult for spoiled children to go through life, because few people will be able to endure them in the future and find a common language with them, your parents need to understand this and fix the situation before it is too late
    via u/AnonimNina
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    Medical-Potato5920 • 9h ago • Top 10% Commenter NTA. Your parents have created this monster. They have less than 3 years to fix this mess. Perhaps ask your grandparents for help in an intervention with your parents.
    via u/Medical-Potato5920
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    Alternatively, just behave like her at home. Demand your own bedroom, and don't stop until you get it. Sure, it will be a h I of an afternoon or weekend, but yell, scream, cry, get down on the floor, and bash your fists against the floor. Scream at the top of your lungs. Channel your inner 2 year old. Basically, make your parents understand that they will never have peace until they capitulate to you.
    via u/Medical-Potato5920
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    Llama-no_drama You can't create a monster then whine when it stomps on a few buildings. Little sis is 100% the product of her upbringing, and the parents deserve to hear that they're the only ones who aren't sick to death of her.
    via u/Llama-no_drama
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    Turmeric_Ping NTA. You can't love someone merely because convention says you should. Your parents are dreadful people who have not only inflicted you sister on you. Worse is what they have done to her: they have effectively crippled her ability to function socially by neglecting to insist on reasonable behaviour.
    via u/Turmeric_Ping
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    Mental-Blackberry-72 NTA. I had a sister who was born premature and sick and had sleep apnoea until she was about 2. Me and my other sister were raised to do chores, have manners and responsibilities. In fact, my parents were seen as the strict ones out of all my friends parents. But not my youngest sister. She was spoiled beyond spoiled and even slept in my parents bed until she was 7. Many years later we are all grown up and my youngest sister
    via u/Mental-Blackberry-72
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    is a completely non functioning human who leeches off the government, has stolen money from my parents and my grandmother, won't hold down a job and has had friendships end with such volatility the police have been called. On my mother's death bed she admitted she created a monster. RUN from that house and make yourself a good life, and do not answer the door when she comes knocking for handouts.
    via u/Mental-Blackberry-72
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    maybeCheri This is the OP looking into their own future. Best to distance themselves from sister and parents as soon as possible. Such a sad situation and the parents need to realize that it is their creation and not something OP is responsible for.
    via u/maybeCheri
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    BlackMoonBird • 10h ago • I'd honestly just be honest with them at this point. I'm sure you were, but you might as well go fully blunt. "I do not love my sister. I will never love her. She is a horrid little brat, she is the monster that you have made her to be. You're just mad because literally nobody likes her, even our extended family. You know perfectly well that there's a reason that our grandparents don't want to see her, that none of the rest of the family ever talks to us or wants to see
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    I get that she was your precious little special baby who almost did, oh no, wahhh, but news flash- she stopped being all delicate and precious when she didn't di and also when she stopped being a baby. She's alive, you can get the h I over it now. She's not special, she's not your only child, she's not this precious little glass baby who might disappear at a puff of smoke.
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    You both need to get the h I over it already and understand that she's a human being with flaws, and she's so flawed that literally nobody likes her, even her d. You two are the only ones who like her, and you two are the only ones who are going to put up with her- it's your fault that she's like this, you can deal with it. It's also her own fault- because she's awful. And it's because of you that she's like that.
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    Since it's your fault that your sh little daughter is like this, and you're the only ones who like her, you can make up for it. You can spend all your time with her, you can do whatever you want with her. But the rest of the world does not revolve around your horrible little brat, and especially my world does not revolve around your horrible little brat. She's my sister only in name, and it's only because we share bl d. And I really wish
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    we didn't. Because she s ks. Also you too. You're not good parents, because you turned my little sister into a horrendous little sh the entire freaking world, even her own family, hates with all of their being. Including me. And also you've overrun me and forced me into sh I didn't want for years on account of this little b baby that you've made. And I don't like you guys either.
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    Please know that at the first opportunity I will be leaving you both and your horrible little monster forever, and then you can deal with her all by yourselves. Because she has no friends, she certainly doesn't have a sibling, and she has no family beyond you two idiots- because you've managed to alienate everyone. Literally nobody likes your stupid kid. And it's your fault. I hope being stuck with her s ks. Eat a ......."
    via u/BlackMoonBird
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    grandpajaji The only thing I'd personally change from your post is to not say she'd never love her sister. On the off chance this sister changes her life and actually turns it all around, maybe one day in the far-off future, there can be some form of reconciliation. Of course, I'm not OP, and I dont know what will end up happening, but the rest of your post is spot on; the parent Is failed their miracle child by letting her grow into an a h_le, and by extension they are as well for enabling it.
    via u/grandpajaji
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    wacky_spaz That's so sad. They created a girl who will go through life with no or little friends, will struggle to date and have long term relationships and ultimately will likely fail at life or best case struggle. It's actually pretty sad. I feel bad for you OP but truthfully I feel worse for your sister. Your parents have set her up to fail and abysmally at that.
    via u/wacky_spaz
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    Western-Heart196 OP She has no friends right now and I'm not sure she can make any again with her being the way she is.
    via u/Western-Heart196
  • 26
    LuneMires NTA, your feelings are valid. Your parents need to address her behavior ASAP.
    via u/LuneMires
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    Western-Heart196 OP They won't. That would require them to see it as a problem which they don't. Everyone else is the problem.
    via u/Western-Heart196

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family drama sisters teenagers reddit story daughters parenting raising teens family sister spoiled reddit thread daughter Reddit Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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